I’ve been married now for six weeks after over six months of being engaged. I’m slowly embracing the idea that I now carry the title “wife” and the prefix “Mrs.”; the new last name definitely doesn’t feel real yet. I am married and that very fact means that my identity has changed, yet my thinking is taking a while to catch up.

We are saved when we repent and believe in Jesus; our identity is changed. But I think we can all testify that our mind and our actions take a while to catch up. The transformation takes time. The same can be said of becoming a global worker, stepping into leadership, or becoming a parent. Sometimes it takes our thinking and actions time to fully embrace a new season, identity, or position. The beautiful thing is, the Lord uses all these transitions to spark the process of transformation in us. 

Those who struggle with perfectionism, like me, wrestle with the fact that the transformation takes time. I don’t just want to be good at marriage, I want to be an EXPERT at marriage. Insecurity has washed over me many times as I’ve fallen short of that expectation. I have to reprogram my mind to remember that I’ve never been a wife before and it will take time for me to lay aside my singular thinking to walk fully in my new identity as a wife. 

Be patient with the time that transformation takes in your life. We all have our days when we’re not good at patience, or love, or having faith. We all fall short of Christlikeness daily and if we expect instant perfection then we will be disappointed in ourselves. The transformation to be formed in the image of Christ can and will take a lifetime. But as we are being continuously transformed in thought and action, our identity remains sure: fully accepted and redeemed daughters, carrying the name of our Father.