Please don't refresh this page.
We are submitting all your information.
This takes few seconds.
It will redirect after submission.
We are submitting all your information.
This takes few seconds.
It will redirect after submission.
“I wouldn’t say I was hurt or offended, maybe just disappointed.”
I hear that word disappointed from many of my counseling and coaching clients. It’s like Christians mustn’t be deeply affected by situations or others’ choices, only minimally, slightly annoyed.
But we are humans, with dreams and ambitions and preferences and, yes, expectations, whether conscious or unconscious. So, what is the right response when these goals are not met?
And where does hope fit in?
When I moved to Afghanistan, my biggest hope was that I wouldn’t hate it or fail. Doesn’t sound very spiritual, but it is a rough place to live and work for a mature American Christian woman leaving her home, children, friends, career, and freedoms behind. I actually expected to struggle but hoped I would find a way in my cognitive, positive style to work it all out.
When we base our hopes on circumstances, our own diligence, or others’ favor, we are set up for recurring disappointment. And this feeling can root down deeply, even if we avoid calling it something stronger like anger, offense, hatred, despair, apathy, hard-heartedness and so forth.
Romans 5 tells us, “…tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope.”
This prescribed result of disappointment, or any difficult scenario, points to possible benefits. Humanly we can learn lessons that work for our future success and form a stronger integrity. Deep in our soul, our God-space, we can become more intimate with our Father, His Sovereignty and divine plan for our lives. Now hope can take its rightful place in our lives.
Two actions are required to turn hope into something solid, not a fleeting situational thing. First, we must base our hope in God and the redeeming work of His Son Jesus, not ourselves. Second, we must confess our disappointments, hurts, and anger as the human expectations they represent and ask God to help us with forgiveness. Forgiving others, ourselves and even God for not doing things as we hoped.
This hope in God doesn’t disappoint.
Where do you recognize you are hoping for things to happen a certain way that could easily disappoint? How can you truly turn to God and release expectations into His loving hands for future dreams or needs? What dashed human hope do you need to forgive?
I was actually secure in God’s calling to move to Afghanistan in 2005 and my ultimate hope was in His plan since He clearly orchestrated my involvement to go there. But I had to frequently check my tendency to hope in my circumstances and own abilities to work through homesickness and a spiritually dark, restrictive, male-dominated environment. I learned through many trials, ONLY hope in God would see me through such unknown, uncontrollable challenges. I am changed, for the better humanly and spiritually.