There was a time when I chose to give up hope.  

Since we had gotten married a few years older than “normal,” my husband and I didn’t want to wait too long to begin our family, but month after month passed with no baby on the way. I spent weeks and then months crying, pleading with God, and even lashing out in anger at Him. Hadn’t I already given up my job, my country, my culture, and my family of origin to serve Him overseas? Did He really expect me to give up this hope, too? 

I had no answer for that question, and I felt like God wasn’t answering it, either, so I decided to protect my heart and give up hope. During those bleak days I was just barely able to accomplish the necessary office work to keep the translation program running. I spent the rest of my time pruning my plants and pulling weeds out of the terraced flower gardens. 

I was so focused on my own pain that I couldn’t even see that God was offering me a better hope. 

Looking back, I’m thankful to know that God was never angry at me for being angry at Him. He wasn’t discouraged by my discouragement, and He didn’t give up on me because I had given up on hope. Instead, in the same way that I was pruning my roses and weeding the flower beds, God was weeding incorrect theology from my mind and cutting out the hardened places from my heart. And sometime during those barren months He reminded me of the hope stored up for me in heaven (Colossians 1:5); He encouraged me to hold unswervingly to the hope that I once professed (Hebrews 10:23). He quietly whispered in my ear to wait for the blessed hope - the day that Jesus would appear (Titus 2:13). 

My temporal hope for children was finally fulfilled through the adoption of two amazing sons. Our eternal hope is fulfilled through our adoption into God’s family, and will be fully realized on the day that Jesus returns to take us to our eternal home. For in this hope we were saved! (Romans 8:22-25)